theres a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just havent thought of it yet lyrics

Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

When you're in black slacks with accentuating
Off-white, pinstripes, woah-oh
Everything goes according to plan

I'm the new cancer
Never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
Your reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain and
I bet you just can't keep up with, with these fashionistas and
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign
I bet to them, your name is "Cheap"
I bet to them you look like sh

Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears
And keep telling yourself that,"I'm a diva"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box
On the table, they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

I'm the new cancer
Never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it

And I know and I know, it just doesn't feel like
A night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So, of course, I'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know and I know, it just doesn't feel like
A night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So, of course, I'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know and I know, it just doesn't feel like
A night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So, of course, I'll be distracted when I spike the punch