it never felt like this before lyrics

You can't hear me speak
'cause I am mute
I hide too many things
I need a place to hope
I need your help to hope again

You see a laughing boy
This is not true - only a mirage
I can't conceal my fear
I have to be sincere

[Chorus:]
There is no way to forget
I broke your heart when I ran away
You didn't know what to do
I was only a stupid boy

When I look back now
I never felt so bad
To know that I've hurt you
Is worse than to break
Is worse than everything

Somehow I think my sparks are cold and useless
I play a role in a sad movie scene - a sad movie scene

I'm so afraid of myself
I'm so afraid of being here
I say sorry but it's not enough
I'm so afraid of losing my thoughts

[Eldron, August 2001]